Even the Bright Side
by SallySorrell
Summary: She wants him to hold on. But he wants to remember her, just the way she is. Jack/Renee oneshot!


**Author's Note: This was written by request of M. Keener**

**I'm sorry dear; I intended it to be fluffy. It... Didn't... Work.**

**Written while listening to**

"**Wonderful" by Rob Thomas **

**And "All That I Am" by Rob Thomas**

**Both of them are wonderful (haha) songs. I'd recommend listening to them, while you read this, or some other time. **

**Anyway, enjoy, I hope!**

***

Jack leaned over, coughing again.

Within an instant, Renee stood at his shoulder, looking him over, and nodding to herself.

"What, Jack? Are you feeling any better?"

He never enjoyed answering questions. Usually, they were followed with a sharp pain. He preferred asking them.

"What did Macer say?" was his response. Much better; he felt comfortable again.

"I don't know… do you want me to call her?"

The painful game of questions continued.

Jack eventually won it with silence.

"Jack… I…" she attempted to look at his eyes, "Thank God for you. I don't know if I'd be alive right now… I don't know if anyone in the country would be alive right now… if you hadn't helped us out today."

"Thank you." And that was sincere enough.

Renee turned to leave him. She wasn't sure why, even as she approached the FBI van.

He followed her. Jack wasn't sure _why_, but felt like doing so anyway.

Well, he _had_ appointed himself her guardian. There had to be some danger in that unmarked van. Wasn't there always?

She could feel his breath, soft and warm, on her shoulder. A welcome change from the bitter wind of the early morning.

"What?"

Silence. He wished she'd stop with the questions and just _talk_ to him. All day, all this chaos, there was never time for a coherent conversation. All just _questions_ and _commands_ and _statistics_.

"Jack, what is it?"

Her eyes were wide open, and she looked concerned, at the very least.

"I'm fine." He eventually told her, hoping it would calm her down.

"But you're _dying_, Jack."

Bringing up the obvious.

The only answer to this was a confirmation, but none was given.

"Never mind. I'm sorry..."

"It's okay, it's the truth."

"Yah... but I don't need to remind you of it every second of the day. You're alive _right now_, and that's wonderful."

His head fell from her gaze. It now hung between his shoulders, studying the pavement.

"You've been holding on, all day, Jack. Maybe there's a chance."

He still wasn't looking at her. She fixed this, by reaching for his face.

With her hands cupped around his cheeks, she gently reset him.

Jack didn't _want_ the chance. He didn't like people getting in his way. If they were in the way of his _death_, even.

Heck, George, Tony, Ryan, President Palmer on several occasions.

Kim wouldn't be next in this line; he wouldn't allow it. No treatment was worth risking her life.

"Jack, I think you should try the treatment. For me, _please_."

No answer was needed here either.

"I hope you know I have the entirety of CDC and part of the White House working on a cure."

"I appreciate that... R-Re... Renee."

"Shh."

Her finger pressed itself against his lips. He looked down at this, unsure.

"I don't want you to suffer, Jack. Don't answer me; just let me think that you're okay."

"But..."

Her finger pressed tighter, curling his lips down under the force.

"I don't want to see you die. I _can't_. Just lie to me. Let me pretend, okay? I can't..."

His face twitched a bit. Then he coughed, again. Harsh, deep coughs that shook him worse than the seizures had. Renee wiped her hand on her blouse as she put it down.

"You're alive right now, that's what I want to remember."

"Why are you doing this, Renee?" he managed, between racking breaths.

"I like looking at the bright side."

This didn't seem like something she'd normally say, but Jack accepted it with a nod.

"I want your _word_ that you'll live through this."

A cynical pout spread across her face.

"I can't promise you that, Renee. I will _not_ get my daughter involved in this."

She reached for his shoulder, and pulled herself closer. Agents watched from a distance, unsure of how to respond.

"What _is_ the 'bright side', Renee? What is it, that I'm alive? Look at me!" he approached a shout, "I shouldn't be, I don't _want_ to be!"

"But I..."

One of Jack's fingers stapled itself against her lips. He didn't move, at all.

"Lie to me, Renee. Tell me you don't mind. That's what I want to remember. I don't want to see you upset! Especially if it's because of something I can't control."

"But you can." She mumbled, with some difficulty.

"Please, Renee. I care about you, please do this, for me. Goodbye."

He pulled his finger away, and continued gazing at her.

Then Jack turned around, halted only by Renee's arm, and the beginning of another seizure.

Renee caught him, and lowered him to the ground.

"You'll be okay Jack, I promise." She let him go, and turned to look off behind the van. "I need a medic! Get me a medic, _now_!"

One came running, opening a kit as he came.

"Ms. Walker, I need you to step away."

She didn't move. If anything, she leaned over Jack, trying to hold him still. Her arms were crushed beneath him during these attempts, as he thrashed back and forth.

"Ms. Walker, this man will go into cardiac arrest if you don't move, _now_."

But she didn't hear or heed the doctor's warning. This was it. Something showed through Jack's panicked eyes.

Renee was shoved aside by the medic. A syringe of some thick substance was pressed into Jack's mouth as he shook.

The medicine didn't stay down for long. It emerged as foam, which ran down Jack's face, staining the pavement. His eyes wore the same, panicked expression, as if frozen there.

Renee wiped Jack's face clean, and tried to hold her tears from hitting him.

"Jack?" she called, as his eyes rolled shut, "Jack!? Stay with me, come on."

Her tears fell now, out of anyone's control.

Jack opened his eyes, with some difficulty, and focused them on Renee's.

"What's happening, agent?" Renee didn't know how else to address the medic.

"We're losing him." He said. Compressions against his chest began.

Jack coughed, in a choking fashion.

Renee's mind was clouded with a whirr of thoughts. She certainly didn't want to be the death of him. She needed to say goodbye. She wanted to kiss him. She wanted him to love her. _He_ wanted to die, didn't he? Maybe she would be doing him a favor. Maybe he'd hate her for it.

Too bad, she leaned over him anyway.

"Th-this is... h..." Jack coughed, "hhhow I want to re-remember you-u, Renee... Renee..."

She ran a hand over his cheek, caressing it. The medic continued his work, too preoccupied to care _what_ she did.

Tenderly, Renee's lips met his. She could feel him struggling to breathe, but he made no effort to push her away. His eyes relaxed now. They shut.

And never again did they open.

Renee stood up, and her lips fell shut. Her tears stopped now, as she looked down at him.

"That's how I wanted to remember you Jack. Peaceful."

The medic continued his work, trying to revive Jack.

"Step away from him, agent. That's an order!"

The unnamed medic did so.

"There, Jack. Did I do well?"

These words were whispered to the sky, while her hands clasped in front of her.

From somewhere, she could sense a raspy "yes."


End file.
